The simpler I make it, the more I seem to enjoy it.
It sounds obvious, but I don’t think we appreciate just how much complexity we add to our lives. We convince ourselves that everything needs a routine, a system, a product, or an expert. Sometimes it does. But often, it doesn’t.
Take my hair, for example.
Growing up, my hair was the SI unit of problems.
It was always described as “hard.” My mum tried everything she could think of. Relaxers. Blow-dries. Salons. Different hairstyles. The relaxer never seemed to work, yet somehow my scalp still got burnt. People kept saying my hair couldn’t grow. It was always short, and I eventually accepted that maybe that was just my hair.
Then I finished high school and joined campus.
I decided to get dreadlocks.
The funny thing is, I also decided to stop trying so hard. My entire hair routine became incredibly simple. I washed my hair with water and soap, rinsed it, let it dry, and that was it. No oils. No creams. No miracle products. No complicated routines.
My dreadlocks were beautiful.
Healthy.
Strong.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder if the simplicity had something to do with it.
I cut them off in October 2023 and started growing my natural hair again. These days, I still keep things simple. I wash it and let it air dry. That’s all.
Then I open social media.
Apparently I need products to define my curls. Products to moisturize. Products to seal in the moisture. Deep conditioners. Leave-ins. Hair masks. Oils. Serums. Curl activators. Growth oils. Overnight treatments.
Sometimes it feels as though having hair has become a full-time job.
The more I watch these videos, the more I find myself thinking that maybe we’ve forgotten something important.
Hair is different because people are different.
I have 4C hair.
So do many other people.
But that doesn’t mean our hair is the same.
Some people have fine strands. Mine are thick. Some people have thick strands and a lot of hair. I have thick strands, but not a lot of them. Some people’s hair grows quickly. Others grow slowly. Some retain length easily. Others don’t.
Our DNA influences so much of who we are. Why would hair be any different?
I’ve spent periods wearing mini braids on and off since 2025, and if I’m honest, my hair isn’t much longer than it was then. That used to frustrate me.
Now it doesn’t.
I’ve realized that maybe my goal doesn’t have to be longer hair.
Maybe my goal is simply enjoying the hair I already have.
The truth is, I don’t even enjoy braid extensions. I love washing my hair when I shower. It’s part of what makes me feel clean. When I have braids, I feel like something is missing from that experience. Then there’s my neck. It’s sensitive, and braids always seem to prick the back of it. Instead of feeling beautiful, I end up feeling uncomfortable.
So why was I forcing myself to keep wearing a hairstyle that didn’t actually fit my life?
The older I get, the less interested I am in chasing perfection.
I’m more interested in simplicity.
Not because it’s trendy.
Because it’s peaceful.
I’ve found that the things that bring me the most joy are rarely the complicated ones. Washing my hair. Letting it dry naturally. Taking a shower without rushing. Accepting that my hair doesn’t need to look like someone else’s to be enough.
Maybe that’s the lesson.
Not everything in life needs optimizing.
Sometimes the goal isn’t longer hair.
Sometimes the goal is simply living a life that feels light enough to enjoy.
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