I was sharing on Saturday during DC about how the last lesson impacted me, especially when it came to people-pleasing. I have lived my whole life as a people-pleaser. Perks of being a firstborn. A high achiever. Wanting to make Mama and Papa happy and proud. Avoiding risks or mistakes. If perfection had a face, it would be mine. Weird things used to embarrass me. Speaking of embarrassing moments, let me share the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In primary school, we used to go swimming at a place called Sadili Oval. I remember Mum had bought me a tube costume. We called them tubes, though I\u2019m not sure what they\u2019re called today. It had no sleeves, no straps\u2014just a straight cut across my chest. I\u2019m a natural in water, by the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So one day, I was in the pool and decided to thrust myself backwards for a backstroke. My goodness. The moment I pushed off, my sleeveless costume rolled straight down to my waist. I had to dive underwater and struggle to pull it back up. To this day, I have no idea if anyone saw anything, but I was in primary school (12 years), so you can imagine my horror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, back to DC. We were asked what stuck with us from the previous session. For me, it was people-pleasing. I realised that, for the first time, I didn\u2019t seek to please anyone last week. Today, I was reflecting on how differently I handled things compared to the old me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take this, for example. If I met someone somewhere and we rode together, old me would offer to drop them home, then figure out how to get back on my own. Last week, we had a colloquium at school, and my friend and I were walking back together. She had errands to run, while I was simply heading home. When we got to the car, she was going in the complete opposite direction\u2014far away. And I was also heading in the complete opposite and farther direction. Old me would have said, Let me drop you home, then I\u2019ll go home. After all, God blessed me with a car so I could help people, right? But I didn\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another example\u2014my dad came for my car, so he gave me his wife\u2019s old car to use in the meantime. Old me would have been mortified to drive that car. Mine is a small KDP, and my stepmum\u2019s is a KAZ. You can imagine. Old me would have been extremely embarrassed to be seen in it. In fact, I would have made sure to explain to anyone and everyone, By the way, this isn\u2019t my car. Just so you know. But new me? New me doesn\u2019t give two hoots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Old me never stood up for herself. Old me would be abused and manipulated by people in higher positions, and she would obey without question. Old me would be told to shut up, and she would. Old me would be told to jump, and she would ask How high? Old me would be treated unfairly and still accept it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But last week, new me was challenged\u2014and new me handled it like new me. I refused to be made to feel small. I refused to be guilt-tripped. I refused to be spoken down to. And the best part? I deleted my ex\u2019s number from my phone. It just hit me\u2014I don\u2019t need him in my life anymore, and he doesn\u2019t need to keep tabs on me. That final act of disconnection felt so good. Now, I don\u2019t even know his number, and soon, I\u2019ll forget it completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The growth I\u2019ve experienced is something I could never have imagined seven months ago. But look at me now\u2014See God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On another note, I\u2019m now officially churchless. Since relocating, I\u2019ve struggled to attend my church in Ngong, and I\u2019ve finally accepted that I won\u2019t be going back. I am healed. No longer wounded. That church served its purpose in my life for the season I was there. But now, going back causes me more stress and pain than peace. So I\u2019m letting go and preparing to plant myself elsewhere. Probably back at my childhood church, ACK. And this time, I won\u2019t leave again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s funny how life goes full circle. When I joined campus, I moved to a church near my school. When I finished, I moved back to ACK. When I relocated to Milimani, I joined a church near there. When I moved back home, I returned to my home church. Then I moved to Ngong and joined a church near there. Now that I\u2019ve left Ngong, I\u2019m going back to my home church. East or West, home is always best. There\u2019s nowhere like home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, that\u2019s what I\u2019ve been up to. And for those of you who like keeping tabs on my social life\u2014yes, my dates for today and tomorrow are with ladies. First one is with a lady and a man (together), and the second is with a lady. So no need to speculate\u2014I\u2019m still married to Jesus, and I\u2019m happy that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have a wonderful and blessed night. Also, are babies really going to school today in this rain? They\u2019re talking about flash floods. Gosh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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