There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be held. To want rest. To want to be cared for.
I think somewhere along the way, we were taught that needing these things made us weak—or worse, needy. That to be strong meant to always stand on our own. To want softness made us childish. To crave rest made us lazy. To ask to be cared for made us selfish or demanding. So we swallowed those needs. We learned to meet everyone else’s, while quietly ignoring our own.
But the truth is: being human means needing connection. It means needing arms to fall into, a lap to cry in, a voice to say “you don’t have to hold it all together today.” It means wanting safety. It means needing warmth. That is not weakness. That is our wiring.
There is nothing shameful about wanting someone to hold you, physically or emotionally. There’s nothing wrong with desiring peace, or longing to exhale into someone’s care. There’s nothing broken about wanting rest—deep, nourishing, real rest that doesn’t require you to earn it first.
The healing comes when we finally stop fighting those needs. When we stop trying to prove how unbothered we are. When we allow ourselves to want what we were taught to hide.
You don’t have to always be the strong one. You don’t have to always be the giver. You don’t have to prove your independence by rejecting the comfort you quietly crave.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be held. In fact, it’s one of the most natural things in the world. Let yourself want it. Let yourself receive it. You’re allowed.